Last week, I babysat for three little kids. I had to feed them and play with them until about 9 pm. Again, I was proud of my ability to keep everyone alive and unbloodied- but also surprised at how wiped out I was! I thought, "I can't imagine having three small children all the time!"
Both experiences made me doubt myself. They made me wonder if I'm really cut out to be a grown-up. Who was I kidding when I thought I could parent well? Who was I kidding when I thought I was the "big family" type? Then I remembered the first time I drove cross-country with my mom and how I was worn out after about 2 hours. At first, I wasn't capable of making a long trip by myself. But a year later, I was driving to and from New Jersey without any help! God prepared me slowly. He helped me stretch my driving muscles. He equipped me for what He had called me to do and He did it over time.
That's a nice thought. I don't need to pretend that I have the skills to constantly juggle swarms of little people and cook for them every day. But I can be confident that one day, I will! And I don't need to pretend that I'm equipped to live in another country or share my faith with people who intimidate me or help start a church- but I can be confident that one day, I will! I can be confident because my calling is not dependent on my current skills or abilities. My calling is up to God, and He'll equip me for it in time.