Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Self-Giving

A few days ago I was reminded of a conflict in my life that hasn't quite yet gone away. I saw a person that hurt me deeply and realized the wound is still there. The painful reminder of this open wound, this unresolved conflict in my relationship with this person made me want to clam up, to close myself off, to protect from further pain. It made me want to refuse to give of myself to this person who had "rejected" me in the past. Even though this person and I had reconciled, I wasn't sure I was willing to open my heart to the relationship again.

A few days ago, I heard the Word of God preached at church. It reminded me of the many, many, ways I have transgressed against Him. We corporately confess our sins each week because this is an ongoing reality in our lives-- even as redeemed children of God, adopted as His precious sons and daughters through faith in Christ, we continue to disobey and run after other "gods"-- and so I asked his forgiveness. He has promised that He will give it freely to all who ask (1 John 1:9), and so we were reconciled.

But then something more happened. After the preaching of the Word, I was invited to come forward to receive His very self given to me, His "body broken for me." I realized that week after week, He offers Himself to me fully and freely. Week after week, when I reject Him, hurt Him, ignore Him-- He not only forgives, but He self-gives. He doesn't wipe my slate clean of "offenses" but then refuse intimacy. He lays down His very life and offers it to me.

A few days ago, I realized that the gospel-- the unfathomable self-giving of God-- never stops to transform my broken and hurting heart, because Jesus never stops giving of His own. 

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