Thursday, April 18, 2013

Midnight Sermon

We live on the 30th floor of a highrise downtown. What this means is that when a Texas thunderstorm rolls in, we hear it. Our bedroom wall is actually almost completely windows, and when rain hits those bad boys at 40 mph, it's pretty loud. I know this because it woke me up last night. 

When the sounds of the storm roused me, my first thoughts were, "How annoying. This is interfering with my precious-- and limited-- sleep." It also woke my husband, apparently, because he whispered to me, "Isn't it beautiful?" I laid there and compared our reactions. I was pissed. He was peaceful. It made me realize that even in my sleep, I'm anxious and managing every moment, hoarding time like a beggar hoards pennies. 

I'm glad my husband shared his reaction with me, because if he hadn't, I may not have been convicted by how ridiculous mine was. Sometimes it takes an alternative narrative to realize that your own is destructive. His sweet words exposed my own anxiety, and helped me to see, "I don't have to live this way. Even in the two minutes I'm awake because of a storm, I can experience life differently. I know, because I'm seeing it lived differently right next to me." 

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