Sunday, September 29, 2013

Hercules and Me

Last night I was home alone but felt like celebrating the weekend. So I did what all cool twenty-somethings do on a Saturday night-- I popped a Disney movie into the DVD player. (This is a true story, and I accept myself.) The movie was Hercules, and I took the opportunity to sing along-- loudly-- since there was nobody was around to be annoyed by it. My hour-and-a-half long trip down (the not-too-distant) memory lane was quite wonderful. I laughed, I cried, it was better than CATS. 

Ok, actually, I did cry. (This is also true, and I still accept myself.) I cried because the story in so many ways illustrates the gospel-- my own story, the story of humanity-- and that's something that will never cease to move me. And as I watched and had these reflections, I remembered having a similar reaction to this movie just a few years ago in college (see, I told you it was a not-too-distant memory lane!) and writing about it. So I went back and read what I wrote then, just for kicks. And again I'll post the complete and unabridged version of it here, including the lack of punctuation I found so desirous during that season: 

ok so i was watching hercules tonight (yes, i watch disney movies on friday nights and i'm ok w/ that) and i really felt like God had a message for me through it. silly, i know. however, i really feel like we can relate to hercules...spiritually. as he is growing up he senses something within himself that makes him long for more...and he can't find true belonging from anyone. he is confused because he knows- although he doesn't how how he knows it- that he was meant for something greater. and nothing will satisfy until he finds that. and that's how we are too...we sense in our spirits something eternal, and a desire for something more, something greater than just what we can see. and that's because there in fact IS something greater! and we were created with a capacity and even a desire for it...which is why we seek to find that fulfillment in everything. however, as hercules learns that only restoration with his true Father can fulfill him and restore him to his true identity, it is only our True Father that can ultimately be our source of life and fulfillment.

"the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy, but i have come so that you may have life, and to the fullest"

john 10:10

also, another thing i learned from hercules tonight was how to pray. when he goes to the temple of zeus his prayer is so right- he says "please hear my prayer...i need to know. please tell me who i am, and where i belong" gosh, if only i could get my identity and sense of belonging from Christ alone- the One who really has the answers!    

Apparently, not much has changed about me other than the fact that I now capitalize things. Well, and one other thing has changed: I feel that the Lord has answered my Hercules prayer, in the sense that I am beginning to understand what it means to know who I am as a result of His love for me. It doesn't mean I'm not still insecure, or that I don't still compare myself to others, or that I don't still sometimes feel left out, isolated, or "on the outside." But it does mean that those things have less power over me than they did five years ago; that as God's daughter, I am growing; and that His delight is shaping my sense of identity and belonging in ways that actually change how I live. 

In what ways do you long for something more, or hunger for a sense of identity and belonging? In what ways do you think of God having (or not having) an answer to that?

1 comment:

Robyn Miller said...

I'm glad you can find the Lord's Voice through Disney movies. I, too, am growing and changing through this season of healing. And I appreciate you for sharing your Herculean husband with me this week - who is also an example of God's growth and beauty.